A dinner ... for you ....

Katie and the kids were here. We had spaghetti, sausages and tomato sauce, just like you liked ... Pink Lemonade of course (yes, Katie and I had Malibu in it!) ... I made a chocolate cake for dessert, the frosting didn't work out right so I turned it into a chocolate-caramel drizzle ~ you would have absolutely loved it!

Yes, this IS your son! 

Katie and I toasted to what we had and where we've gone to since you left us.

We agreed, if you were still with us, we'd be leaving the kids with you for a few days and we'd take advantage of an airfare special and head to NY for a few days! You wouldn't mind, right ???

Here ... take a look at the precious angels .... 

No problem ....... 

Right???

I spoke with one of our pre-school friends a few weeks ago, remember B.? The boy that was so difficult then? He's doing great now, has a fantastic memory of the last day of pre-school for the kids after graduation, when they all changed into water clothes and we had water balloon tosses .... He remembers you taking the hose and DOUSING the kids! Says it was the most fun he had at pre-school. I'm so glad that the kids remember these things. They mean the world to me.

Well babe, another milestone ... oh yeah, Happy Belated Anniversary also, last week would've been 14 years! Maybe next year we'll have a 15th Anniversary Party .... maybe.

Happy Birthday ....

you'd be 47 today .... world sure is a different place without you.

david is growing up
he's getting TALL
you'd love his fart jokes lol
i remember how scared you were when they said they were doing a c-section to deliver him
and how happy you were when he was born.

me, i'm still looking for work
i hope this next application is the one that clinches it for me
i want need this to happen for david and i sooo bad
if you have any pull, this would be the time to ask for the favor

yes, those are tears flowing now
i didn't expect them
but then i didn't expect to be without you
i still miss you daily
i go back and remember things
and i wish it were different

i'm doing well my love, but i do miss you like hell
it's just not the same, my heart has a hole that will always be missing you ...

Apologies

I have been horrible at blogging ... I'm not sure if I should wipe this out or start it up, the Ads are all messed up, heck, I never made a penny off this as it is lol oh well...how are you doing??

5 years .... Strength or Survival

He's still gone, this nightmare doesn't end, it only evolves into new and exciting adventures.


I've heard over the years since Mark died, and even today, how strong I am. Here is my response:


I truly feel that we never know our own strength until it is tested, while I don't feel I'm a strong person, I know that I've done what I've needed to do to survive the past 5 years of this "hellish suck club of widowhood" ... I think my widow friends will agree. None of us feel strong, we are survivors.