He's still gone, this nightmare doesn't end, it only evolves into new and exciting adventures.
I've heard over the years since Mark died, and even today, how strong I am. Here is my response:
I truly feel that we never know our own strength until it is tested, while I don't feel I'm a strong person, I know that I've done what I've needed to do to survive the past 5 years of this "hellish suck club of widowhood" ... I think my widow friends will agree. None of us feel strong, we are survivors.