This goes back to 1998, it was March, one of those rare warm days in Portland OR, and I had my day planned out. My due date was April 15th, and I had my final ultrasound scheduled at 2pm.
(Aside) Now, anyone that has had one of these "painless" exams done knows that combining an extraordinary amount of water with a woman who can pee like a racehorse at a moments notice because said child in utero is squishing the bladder... well the situation for said pregnant woman is ANYTHING but painless and we will do ANYTHING to take our mind of the seemingly gallons of water we need to drink prior to this
As I was saying, I had my day planned out, shower, dress, start drinking water at 11, little at a time, I had a Kiwanis meeting to attend in downtown Portland (always a great way to distract myself and they serve iced water), drive back through Tigard to pick up my husband from work and then go out to Oregon City to my Midwifes office. Excellent way to space out the water intake and not be toooo totally uncomfortable.
Do y'all know Murphy?? Little did I know, Murphy was along for the ride...
Leave the house at 11 and head to Portland, to hear a traffic alert that a flat bed truck heading South through the Terwilliger Curves lost it's load of PVC Pipes and traffic was at a standstill. Ugh I feel sorry for the folks waiting for that to clear, but not a problem for this preggo lady!
Arrive at the Benson Hotel early (very posh and they take care of preggo ladies really well, park my truck for me and don't charge me), mingle with my friends, talk about the baby and pregnancy, "yes it's going well", "yes the Convention went well" blah, blah, blah. Enjoy the luncheon, enjoy the meeting, enjoy getting up in front of 100 people and talking (really, I did, I loved what I did),
Hit I5 South, and just then, Murphy reared his
I begin to panic, I have an overly full bladder for this
I am out of my truck with all the other innocent bystanders, hoping that the road clears soon, but realizing I'm doomed here. There is a Little Debbie's Truck in front of us and he's now passing out snacks to everyone that wants. We're in for the long haul here. There is mounting pressure on my bladder now, I'm moving around talking and laughing w/ folks, when it hits me, I am NOT going to make it, I have GOT to pee, I AM going to explode.
I call my Midwifes office and explain the situation, they said it was ok to relieve myself (love how they say that so politely), and get in as soon as able to, the situation is obviously out of my hands here. I call my husband and tell him that I'm going to drive my truck OFF the Highway and down the hillside to go through a break in the fence that I see others going through. Before you freak out, I drive a Land Rover and I do a LOT of off-roading. This little hillside is childs play for me. I will NOT be able to pick him up, he'll have to meet me if he wants to see his unborn child before it's born.
I then turn to the people around me and
Ok, so now I'm driving like a banshee to find the first gas station I can, and when I pull in, I toss the keys at the guy and say "fill the tank" and he points to the bathroom, obviously he's real smart too! I
Whew, the rush was over. I paid for my gas, called the office and let them know I was on my way, and called hubby to confirm that he was meeting me.... did I mention that I drank more water ??
Oh to be pregnant again...