Encouragement...

It’s the Journey … that gets us to the end point, or at a stopping point that we can safely stop, turn around and breathe. Once there, we can look back and see that we were never alone and that it was all planned out long before we were thought about.

Jeremiah 29:11-14 (New International Version)

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. [a] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."

Footnotes: [a] Jeremiah 29:14 Or will restore your fortunes

While I never spent much time in Bible Study, this verse stuck with me for many years and I never understood why. Let's be real, it is so incredibly hard to do in daily life, to put our thoughts and feelings aside and to listen, to be still and hear the voice of God. To have FAITH and remember that Our Lord knows our birth date and our death date long before we are even known to exist.

I have to remind myself of that from time to time, and last week, while speaking w/ an acquaintance on Twitter, that plan He had for me came up. After David was born, I had 2 miscarriages. One was at about 20 weeks along, yes...you read that right, very late however there were problems from the beginning of the pregnancy, I was on antibiotics from the beginning of it and the baby was not developing properly at all. In fact, when I had my first ultrasound at what should have been about 14 or 15 weeks along, the baby was only 7 weeks along in development. 7 days before Christmas I began to cramp and bleed, and I knew it was over, it was confirmed on a Friday afternoon and on the Tuesday before Christmas I had a D&C to complete the miscarriage. I had permission from my doctor to get on a plane on Wednesday evening, as previously planned, and fly to California to see family down there for the holiday. It was not only emotional, but painful, and everyone there handled it well. I had drugs, those helped a lot wih the physical pain, but not the emotional pain. We spent some great time with my grandmother, not knowing that it would be her final Christmas on this earth with us. We also spent time on the beach, talk about healing...I can't put into words how refreshing that was. But I digress.

Throughout that time and the subsequent miscarriage, which happened much earlier in my pregnancy and did not require medical intervention, I questioned WHY? Why were these lives that we so desperately wanted taken from us? Why were we being punished? What did we do wrong?

We were good Christians, we went to church, we prayed as a family, we turned our lives around and were doing well. We were "older" if you will and our son wanted to be a big brother so much.

You see, I thought it was about me, about our family; I totally forgot it was about Him. I forgot that HE had a plan for me us. You see, the Lord KNEW that on June 21, 2006 he would call Mark home. He KNEW that I would be thrown into the chaos known as Widowhood AND be a single parent to a child that would fall apart and need every ounce of my energy for the next 3 years. I had NO IDEA that would happen, in hindsight, I'm pretty damn happy that I didn't know that.

• He knew that I would NOT be able to handle 3 kids on my own.
• He knew that I would rely on friends and some family to help me through
• He knew that I would need certain needs met.
• He always provided.
• He made that committment and promise to us and
• HE follows through ALWAYS!

How AWESOME is that??