Sunday, May 24, 2009

Emotions run wild ....

I dragged myself to Church this morning, not because I didn't want to go, but because I was out with friends last night and didn't get much sleep, getting more sleep is always a good thing.

Kiddo was grumpy, whining about this, that and the other thing, my patience was thin. During the children's message he sat up on the stage flipping a quarter, never missing it, but continually moving as he does. As the service progressed, he opened up and shared "I miss my Dad", and he shed a few tears.

Today was Mission Sunday and our Haiti Mission was honored. This one is close to my heart, Haiti is where Mark and I were going to move to this summer to do the Lords work and help the people of Les Anglais and the poverty stricken Beach Village, live a fulfilling life.

We listened to the testimonials of 4 Mission Team members and then a video started. Watching the people of Les Anglais laugh, smile, literally drag themselves into the medical clinic is emotional and overwhelming. Knowing what our team went through to get there, emotional. And then it happened, Jim Shaw talking to the people of the Beach Village about Mark and spreading his ashes there, where he wanted to be. The tears flowed, I couldn't hold them back. Tim held me, he rocked me, and all I could do was cry, tears of sorrow as I do miss Mark here, but also cries of happiness as I am comforted in knowing that the Beach Village IS where Mark wanted to be and this group was able to make that happen for us.

I am so blessed in this world. Blessed that Mark was an amazing part of my life. Blessed that the Lord gave us our kiddo. Blessed that I had kiddo to focus on in the aftermath of Marks sudden death, it truly IS what got me through the past (nearly) 3 years. Blessed that I am surrounded by some amazing Christians that have walked with me, behind me, in front of me and carried me when needed. Blessed that I have my sister and Clark to support me when needed. Blessed that the Lord saw fit to bring Tim into my life, an amazing man that loves myself and kiddo for who we are AND is there to carry me when needed without judging me.

I am a sinner, I am human, I am a mother, daughter, sister, wife, friend. I am a Believer of the Lord, and I am incredibly Grateful for this Lord that accepts me as I am.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, take my breath away! I cannot even begin to imagine how you felt as you watchd that video. We just do not always understand why God chooses to take those we love, we just have faith. I know how thankful you are that you have this living, breathing reminder of your love! My heart is with you!


Thank you for sharing with myself and others!