Monday, January 12, 2009

The Spark

I received this message from a friend on another board I belong to:

Tess wrote:
M~ Dear,

I'm not surprised you have been having Mark dreams, anxiety attacks (for lack of a better word) etc. You have been remembering every step you took after Marks death with everything that Ginamarie is going through. I just want you to know I am praying for God to protect your heart as you minister to hers.

I loved the pictures you posted of you and David at the table at Christmas. What joy you had on your faces. Please guard your heart as you watch Gina go through these early days. If you find yourself going back to your own early days, thinking about them, I encourage you to just remember how faithful God was to be by your side and bring you to where you are now. I am concerned about your tender heart. As I said, I pray for you.


This was my response today:

I've been thinking a lot about what you've said here Tess, and I have to say Thank You for opening my eyes to something.

I have spent 2 1/2 years taking care of David and those around me in dealing with their loss of Mark, that I don't think I really dealt with my loss completely. David is doing well now, the kids have almost all moved on, and now that I have Tim in my life, I feel safe enough, knowing that he'll take care of David and I, that I can let my guard down.

At the same time, I've gone through the loss of 3 people I know personally since September AND now Gina has lost Lou and a very close friend lost his grandfather that he has cared for over the past 2 1/2 years.

I am calling my Counselor to get back into see her. I wanted to let you know because you sparked the neuron that made me put this all together in writing, it totally makes sense to me now.

Thank you for caring.

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