______________
For David....
.... the grieving process of losing his Dad has entered a new phase. He's asking specific questions about Marks death, he is expressing that he has a huge "empty" spot in his heart. Tonight he couldn't sleep, he asked to watch the video slideshow that was shown to the Church of the mission trip he was on when he died...it brought up comments, I know there will be rough days ahead. I'm so glad that Tim and Clark are here to help us through it.
~~ I'll be emailing the school counselor and his teacher, his teacher is leaving the class this week to have a baby next week...I'm sure that "loss" is part of this too.
*05-15-2008, 12:29 AM
I cannot imagine what he, or you, must be going through.
You both are in my prayers.
Amy
*05-15-2008, 03:44 AM
Praying for both of you to get through this difficult period of time.
Penny
*I am so sorry that you both are going through this right now. Children process death much more differentely than you and I. While it appeared David was handling things, his grief came out in his behavior earlier. He most likely couldn't understand the feelings he was having and he just couldn't express them to you or anybody else in a way that was meaningful to him.
Now, that its become evident that Mark's death is permanent, he's naturally showing curiosity about it in order to understand and process what happened as well as devise strategies to prevent it from happening to you. Be prepared for him to become angrily protective over you, even trying to shield you from the love and care of others. And understand that he still doesn't understand that this was a fluke, something that happens only to a certain person at a certain time. We process death in understanding that God has a magnificent plan for our lives and only He knows the date and time of our birth and the date and time of our death. However, when children hear that, they begin to wonder when your date and time is and when his date and time is, they are unable to process the circle of life.
And as David ages and matures, his grief will change, the way he processes information will change. It may take him many years to get through this, his grieving process, or it may only take him a few, there is no time limit on it. And sometimes, it will seem as if he's accepted it and then, a month or a year later, it will hit him again and hit him hard.
These are rough years for you and David, but Marissa, I promise you that you will both get through this, together and your relationship will be stronger for it. I know its hard to see your son hurt so much and I just wish I could reach out to you both and give you great big hugs, but do know that you are always in my heart and in my prayers.
Pooh
*05-15-2008, 07:55 AM #17
Our God is good. Now I know why you have been on my heart so much lately! I will be praying (more specifically) for you both .
Tess
*05-15-2008, 09:28 AM #19
Hugs and prayers!!!!
Anne R
Marissa wrote:
David woke up today in the BEST MOOD...he told me that he prayed for Daddy to come talk to him in a dream AND HE DID!!! He said that he's really missing him and it was nice to see him.
*05-27-2008, 05:32 PM #24
Rejoicing with you and David, but it still made me teary.
CandleGram
*Oh, how awesome is that!
Jleah
*Hugs and prayers for the journey.
E&Bsmom
05-27-2008, 06:53 PM #27
Quote:
Originally Posted by CandleGram
Rejoicing with you and David, but it still made me teary.
Karen
Oh I was crying when he told me, it was a great moment!
Marissa
Thats great Marissa!
I haven't had any dreams that my mom is talking to me yet, but I was having dreams about her. And in all those dreams she was healthy and happy. Those gave me ALOT of comfort.
One of my family members told me about a month after mom died that she had a dream that my mom called from heaven to say that everything was fine.
Lauren
I am so glad David was able to receive this comfort at this perfect time
Tess
05-27-2008, 08:11 PM
That is a blessing Marissa!
Traci
05-27-2008, 08:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by skippyplante View Post
Thats great Marissa!
I haven't had any dreams that my mom is talking to me yet, but I was having dreams about her. And in all those dreams she was healthy and happy. Those gave me ALOT of comfort.
One of my family members told me about a month after mom died that she had a dream that my mom called from heaven to say that everything was fine.
Living life ...
Marissa
05-29-2008, 05:33 PM
That must have been awesome for him.
Kathi
05-29-2008, 08:54 PM
The biggest comfort for me is when David comes to me in a dream. It is always so vivid, I can hear his voice and I can even smell him and feel his touch. I know its strange, but it happens on a regular basis.
Let your David know that he can always "keep in touch" with his father through his dreams. Just because Mark is gone to Heaven doesn't mean that David can't share his ups and downs with him. I do that with David all the time.
I get in a quiet, dark place and I put together all my memories of his voice, his smell, his touch, his smile, everything and I concentrate on those memories and then I just start sharing my day with him. I share my joys and I share my hurts just as if he were here. And it does comfort me.
Pooh
06-10-2008, 03:20 PM #37
Marissa
Update
This is definitely HIS summer to work on the grieving process.
Last year I tried getting him into the Dougy Center and Camp Erin and was unsuccessful ... I've just confirmed his participation in BOTH programs for this summer!
http://www.moyerfoundation.org/events/erin.aspx
www.dougycenter.org
mikandles
Marissa, my stepmom is familiar with the Dougy Center. My niece lost her father about a year ago and they were somewhat distant to begin with, but she sometimes has outbursts about it. They attend grief counseling together, though I'm not sure where.
Anyway, maybe you'll see them there. Nicole is 6.
